Jackson's Garden

"Gardening is a way of showing that you believe in tomorrow." - Anonymous 

Our garden. Our angel. Our hope for tomorrow.

The garden started out as something "hypothetical", and just another thing on the long list of "to-do's" around the house. Actually, the whole concept of total lawn beautification fell fairly far down the list...especially when you add that to multiple other zones to work on inside our home plus a little one who would require all of our time and energy. We more or less just talked about the garden. We talked a real big game too. I think talking about it made us feel like it was actually done, and I do believe we felt real proud of ourselves just because we talked about it. We even consulted many professionals at the nursery about it, but still no action. We had perfect spots in our yard, but no execution.

Now?


Execution problem?


Not anymore.


Houston, we have a garden. Not just one, but two. Boo ya, Baby.


Two gardens there may be, but there is ONLY ONE....


Jackson's Garden!

It is located along on the left side of our home, in a place that gets some kickin' morning sun and some fabulous afternoon shade. It is a place that is sweet, peaceful, and perfect.(say that line in your best "lets get ready to rumble" announcer voice.  It is kinda fun, and pointless.)

Absolutely perfect. Just like our angel.

This garden should bloom blue and pink :) A hope garden? You bet. Blue leads the way with color because it is, and will always be, his garden.

(We have one rogue hydrangea that is currently enjoying being more of a purplish-pinkish hue at the moment. Neat. I guess I need to go out there and have a frank conversation with it to make sure everyone is clear that the entire feng shui of the garden is really thrown off by that color performance.)

There are so many things that make this garden special.

1)Three of the five hydrangeas planted were given to us as a special way for us to always remember Jackson. They are absolutely beautiful. We are also huge hydrangea fans. If we could start a fan club or support group for folks that love hydrangeas, we would. We would like to thank my work family, Russ' work family, and my OB-GYN office family for each of them. The other two hydrangeas Russ and I bought. We chose to put in two more to round out the hydrangea party with a symbolic plant from Jackson's Mom and Dad. One from each of us. All of the hydrangeas should bloom blue for our Jackson. 

It is amazing that so many people we love helped to get this garden started. That means the world to us. We look at the garden and think of him, but also every person that put their hope, faith and love into it as well. This garden will be so prosperous because a ton of love went into it from a very large network of people we like to call family. We are incredibly thankful for all of you.

2) We wanted to put in another flowering plant to balance out the hydrangeas, and to add in another different looking plant. Some more dimension. Some more depth. 



You know, because we know what we are talking about here. 

It makes me giggle because we really possess enough "gardening knowledge" to fill a darn thimble.


Off to the nursery we went.

Turns out Russ was SURE of what he wanted.

The man wanted Rhododendrons, and he wanted a specific type because they will bloom a beautiful pink color in early Spring.


And doesn't that just make a girls heart melt knowing the man wanted to throw see some pink blooms in the blue garden :)


Hope shines through. Even in little moments in the middle of a busy nursery. Another reminder from the littlest angel that we are going to be alright...one day at-a-time. 

See you next Spring little pink Rhodos!

3) Butterflies.


While at the nursery, I discovered these large rustic iron butterflies. They just caught my eye, and I knew that we had to have these in our garden. It was something about them. It is hard to put into words. I just could sense (and feel myself bubbling up with emotion) that I would have welled up and cried if we did not walk out with them. Obviously if that had happened, that would have drawn attention to us in a negative way...and people at the nursery would have absolutely assumed that a grown woman was having a 4-alarm meltdown over a piece of hammered metal.  Not a good scene.


I believe the butterflies reminded me of this place that we now call home, as they seemed "very Asheville" to me. I believe the butterflies took me to a place in my mind that made me think of the sweet, delicate innocence of a child. I believe that I had a quick moment of thinking that a beautiful butterfly comes from fuzzy caterpillar. They emerge from their cocoon with a stunning display of color, design, and uniqueness. No two butterflies are the same. Just like us. Except they can fly :) Maybe it is because Jackson went from being our little bug to our little angel, that these thoughts around metamorphosis just make sense. We are sure that Jackson has the most amazing, beautiful, and unique set of wings out there. Fly, baby, fly.

Two iron butterflies came home with us that day. One for each garden. 

4) It is outside.

A great deal of therapy has come to Russ and me in the form of just simply being outside. Usually, you can find one or both of us outside.

We thoroughly believe that the therapy we receive from being outside is because of the presence that our son had at the memorial celebration. Since it was held outside, and our son decided to rock the house during the memorial...needless to say, we can feel him all around when we are outdoors.


Now, does every little piece of grass, every little leaf on a tree or every little flower remind us of him? No.

It is the little moments that we love, and those little moments are the ones that take our breath away. They come when we are least expecting them. We remember them and we live for them. However, it sure is hard not to look for him. As his parents, we want to look for him in everything because we miss him. Terribly. You want everything to BE HIM because your grasping on to his memory and will give ANYTHING to have just one more moment of the tiniest measure with him. It is hard not to search for someone you love so much.


Where do we find him?

Most of the time, for both of us, it is the warmth and beauty of the sun. We love the warmth and the feeling that you get when you first feel the sun hitting your skin at the beginning of a new day. It is a simple reminder to just breathe, pick your head up, and try to give that day your very best shot. On the other end of the spectrum, we love watching a beautiful sunset off of the western mountains while sitting on our back patio.  The day is not done without an amazing parade of color, light and a party of clouds. A grande finale. A lovely reminder that another day is done. Another day that we made it through this together. 

 We see you sweet boy!

5) Numbers.


It just occurred to me today that the garden has another interesting component. This one just smacked me in the face.


There are a total of five hydrangeas. 


Our son was born in May, the fifth month.


When you add in the two rhododendrons, you get seven total plants in the garden.


Our son was born on the 7th day of May. 

How cool is that?! 5-7-2012.

It truly is Jackson's Garden :) 

Gardens are exciting in their own way. I think it is because you are planting something beautiful, and you are planting it with the hope of giving it life. You eagerly put it in the ground with the hopes and dreams of what it will look like year after year. You look forward to the beauty. You look forward to life. You can clearly see it in your mind. 

Kinda like life, eh?


What will ours look like?

I do not know.

We do not know. Lord knows we are not in charge here.

All we know is that it will be beautiful, and it will be how it is supposed to be. We do know that we look forward to it. We dream about it. We can plant seeds of hope today. Well...lets just consider those seeds done planted :) These seeds will grow because we believe in them. We believe in tomorrow.

Over the past couple of weeks, we have heard some amazing stories of how Jackson's footprints and story have positively impacted people's lives. We are blown away by these stories, and we hope they continue to come our way. We know that we are getting stronger everyday because our son has changed someone's life. He certainly has changed ours. What more could a parent ask for? How much more proud could a parent be? He is an angel that we are happy to share with the world. He is very good at what he does :)


In an effort to document these stories because we never want to forget them, I am going to write one of them per post. We are excited, honored, and humbled to share these stories.

The first story we would like to share is the first one ever heard. 


The day after Jackson's memorial, Russ received a text message from a dear friend at his work. This particular friend is expecting a sweet baby girl in August :) She attended the memorial and saved her copy of the program. She was so impacted by Jackson's story, that she went home that day and put the copy of his footprints...

In her baby girl's nursery.


She wants her little girl to know that she has a very special guardian angel watching over her everyday and always. That sweet baby girl will know Jackson. 


Do your thing big guy :)


Our hearts are filled with joy. We are very proud.


Thank you for sharing your story with us, and thank you for loving our son so much. We cannot wait to meet that sweet baby girl in August!!

 

Our next post will be about our first trip back to the Arboretum and another Footprints and Hope story :)

Thank you for reading, and thank you for supporting us! We continue to be amazed by everyone! You ALL are helping to put us both back together again.

Go plant something. Believe in tomorrow.


Love,


Emily and Russ