We survived.

"If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together...there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart...I’ll always be with you." -- Winnie the Pooh

This quote has to be one of my all-time favorites. I should have included it in the blog a very long time ago, as we have received it from many family members and friends over the past few months. It is such a heart-warming quote, and come on, who does not love some Winnie the Pooh!

I will admit that I have experienced some serious writers block over the past few days. My brain just flat lined and I cannot find a thought if my life depended on it. I think this happened because we have done a fantastic job of keeping incredibly busy. We can't stop and won't stop moving. There are advantages and disadvantages to the schedule we chose to keep these days, and it is nothing short of exhausting. However, it makes the days and weeks fly by and that has been a blessing. We have had some bumps and rough patches along the way, but overall, things are going fairly well.

Some examples of things keeping us busy....

Here is a photo from the American Diabetes Association Step-Out Walk a few weekends ago! We raised over $4,000 for the ADA! I work with the most amazing, wonderful, and inspiring people!

Russ is still coaching football! His team won the first round of playoffs last night! He is talking with someone about the game in this photo, thus intensity face.

We are also spending time enjoying the beautiful Fall scenery and weather! We love and live for the Fall in Asheville. It re-charges the soul, and these weary souls need all of it!

When we are not running around, working or working out....we are enjoying quality quieter time together. We are best when we are together, and we are happiest when we are together. 

We will get through this together.


I will say that I think we deserve a t-shirt that says, "We survived Halloween 2K12".  Talk about a tougher holiday than we expected. I take that back. We should have know what to expect. It is a child's holiday (technically), and I have no idea how we thought we could just blow through it like any other holiday before it. Turns out, it was a day full of what-might-have beens and how-would-this-have-looked and what-would-we-be-doing-right-now's. So so fun.

Would Jackson be in traditional baby pumpkin costume?

Would we have gone for funny and put him in a Humpty Dumpty costume that is literally an egg suit with tights and just watched him tip over because he would be trying to or actually sitting up at this age? Come on, that is funny. Inspiration photo below...

Would he have been a cow? A puppy? A frog? A lion? A baby bear?

He would have been snuggled close because it was a very cold evening!


Gosh, he would have been so cute.

We would have had so much fun.

I think it would have been the first holiday where we could have stepped out and rocked it. It would have been perfect. With a good 5 months (almost 6) under our belt, a little bit of parental confidence, and some holiday excitement...we would have made Halloween 2012 one that we would always remember. 

We would have loved every single minute of it.

I get it that this is just a small-in-scale holiday compared to the holiday storm that is coming our way. It just did not feel that way when we were living through it. Another lesson learned--the smallest things often turn out to be world rockers.

Russ had said days before Halloween that he did not want to participate. This was tough to hear, but I have to be honest and say, I totally get it. I chose to let it go and honor the fact that he was struggling. I accepted the fact that we do not have to handle every little thing head on. Lord knows we have done that with everything else to date.

After he made the comment we never talked again about participating, and I just assumed we were going to have our lights off and just hang out together upstairs during the trick-or-treating madness. A few days later, we were in Target and he suggested that we go ahead and purchase Halloween candy. I was puzzled by the comment and felt very protective of his emotions as we are standing in the home cleaning section. I chose not to go down the, "lets talk about feelings" track in the middle of Target on a Saturday afternoon. I knew he meant what he said, so we pushed our cart over to the candy isle and threw in three monster bags of candy. I wanted to cry and I felt a little piece of my glued-back-together heart chip off. Then add in the fact that one of the bags I grabbed mindlessly was a mix of Skittles and Starburst. We all know how I feel about Skittles. Halloween and a pregnancy trigger. Neat. Oh, and the candy section is right on top of the baby section. Just fantastic. And then throw in that parent right beside you is munching on Target popcorn while unnecessarily yelling at their child who is not doing anything wrong and is clearly looking for parental acknowledgement. Well, isn't this just wonderful. My inner voice cries, ENJOY YOUR POPCORN AND HUG THAT CHILD PLEASE AND THANK YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY.  You want to know what a day feels like? Try that little Target run on for size. That day was a real gem.

We are not bitter. I swear it. Sometimes the world around you is just too hard to take. Holiday or not. That particular 20 minutes in Target was especially rough.

So. We participated in Halloween. We manned up and forged through it. It was OK, I suppose. Then this precious little nugget rang our doorbell....

Is that is not the cutest little elephant you have ever seen?! I love me a good baby elephant. This one goes down in my book as an all-time favorite toddler costume. No contest. He rocked his costume and was so cute! He made Halloween so much better and helped us find strength to finish the day :) Bonus:  the costume had a tail....

I mean seriously. That is so stinkin' cute. I am going to need to borrow this costume one day. Even if it isn't Halloween.

Sunset on Halloween.....kinda blurry....kinda spooky.

This year, and every year Jackson will be dressed like an angel.

That's because he is one.

Our precious and perfect angel.

Ok, so maybe this year he is a pumpkin angel :)

We can see him now all dressed in his beautiful angel wings and a festive pumpkin hat.  He is so cute! Our little Jackson, with his round little face and cute little nose....I just want to squeeze him and never let go!

The only upside--Thank God he is with us everyday in our hearts, and Thank God we will see him again.


Just like Winnie The Pooh said...

You are braver than you believe. Agreed. We survived and we always will. It may hurt a little, but we can be brave.

You are stronger than you seem. Yes. Yes we are. WE are strong. Strong feels good.

You are smarter than you think. Ok :) We will take it!

But the most important thing is, even if we are apart...I will always be with you. ALWAYS AND FOREVER.

I hear this quote, and sometimes I feel like Jackson is whispering it in my ear.  It is so very motivational and uplifting. My little man gives me (us) strength every single day. We may not recognize it at the time, but he delivered it. He just makes us work to figure it out or find it. Usually, were we find strength is where we also find HOPE.

Halloween 2012. Survived.

On to the next one. Yee haw.

I leave this post completely in love with and missing a little pumpkin angel! We love you so much JND!

Love,

Emily and Russ

Ok, one more elephant shot...had to do it!